Paul and Sarah

Paul was a young professional who had life in the palm of his hand. He had friends. He had money. He had it all. He lived in a medium sized apartment in a nice neighborhood in the city. Life should have been great.

But he didn’t feel that way.

Sarah was also a young professional with life in the palm of her hand. She had friends. She had money. She had it all. She lived in a large apartment in a nice neighborhood in the city. Life should have been great.

But she didn’t feel that way.

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Like a Good Neighbor

“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there”

Agent Miller can’t see anything. Everything is pitch black.

“Hello?! Is anybody there?,” he shouts.

He hears a rustle and a groan to the side of him.

“Who is that?” Miller asks.

“Miller? Is that you? OH THANK GOD! I’ve been so scared,” a voice says.

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Clever Procrastination Title Here

Procrastination is a hell of a thing.

Did you know that “Young Turks” is used to refer to a delegate of progressive radicals inside a political party? Sounds good huh? Well, at least until you read about the actual Young Turks. You know, the ones that obliterated the Armenian culture… all 3000 years of it.

I learned this today while I was trying to write the post you’re reading.

I started writing this at 1:00 pm.

It is now 2:09 pm.

This is as far as I’ve gotten.

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Submarine Life

Last year, I pitched an article to Cracked about life on submarines. They really liked the idea. Along the way, I dropped the ball. They ended up running the idea with another author.

Mine was better.

I’m also a lazy asshole sometimes.

Here’s the article that I wrote. It’s done in their listicle style. All of these words are mine. They didn’t cheat me or anything. I’m just lazy, remember?

All of the following is true.

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