I Don’t Consider Myself a Misogynist

I used to identify myself as a maleist. That is, I believed that the rights of men were being whittled away by American women. I believed that we were raising a generation of men to be pussies. We were stamping out natural male instincts in an attempt to keep them subdued. We were telling American men that they should be ashamed of their sex and instincts.

I’m sure Fight Club had something to do with this.

I don’t identify as a maleist anymore. I find myself thinking these thoughts from time to time. I realize that they are misguided. But, they’re still lingering.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but….

My wife and I have an okay marriage. We’ve been together for 8 years. We don’t hate each other. We’re not madly in love anymore, but we’ve got something that is positive and works. Our kids are amazing and smart. She’s an incredible mother. I’m a suitable father. That’s life.

She gets upset with me because of my inability to be intimate.

Not the way you’re thinking. I’m always ready for sex. It’s in the way that she likes.

I shy away from physical contact and heartfelt discussions… sober anyways.

Sometimes, when I’m home, I’ll do a chore or job or make breakfast in bed or dinner for the kids or vacuum a room or clean her car and present it to her like a caveman with game. She’ll thank me and move on with her life. Later that night I’ll make a feeble attempt at sex. She’ll rebuff me and I’ll get angry.

“I DID THAT THING! FOR YOU!” I’ll say.

Then we’ll argue.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but…

My mother gave my brothers and I up when I was 10. We went to live with my father and his new wife. She was only 26 years old with three brand new, and heavily damaged boys to raise. I took out a lot of anger on her. I thought that she had ruined my family.

I take that back.

I wanted to believe that she had ruined my family. But she didn’t. She saved it.

I still treated her like she would give up on us at any moment. Right up to the moment I left the house for good.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but…

I wish I could explain everything that goes through the mind of a young man. There is SO MUCH SELF DOUBT AND ANGST!

I spent my college years in the Navy. Specifically, I spent my adult formative years on a submarine with 120 men. We used to sit out under the ocean and talk about everything. Especially women. Most of us were terrified of them. Women were such a mystery. So soft and nice and sweet and… We knew that we were good guys. We knew that if a girl got to know us, she’d like us. We knew she’d sleep with us.

Sleep with us.

Sleep with us.

Cause we were good guys.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but…

I work in an office. My wife doesn’t. She raises the kids and does the housework and pays the bills and runs the family.

I get the biggest piece of pizza when we order out.

If we go to a party, I assume that she’ll drive home because I’m going to be too drunk.

When I get home I’ll drop my clothes on the ground or pile them on my dresser or on the kitchen table or on the bed or anywhere but where they belong. I’ll ask “What’s for dinner?”. I’ll commandeer the TV. I’ll ignore the kids. I’ll surf the internet.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but…

I truly believe that my wife is better at life than I am. I respect her ability to teach our family about life.

She’s helped change me from a card carrying Republican to a bleeding heart liberal and convinced me that I did it on my own.

She’s pushed me into a side career that I can’t imagine doing without.

Hell, she dresses me for chrissakes.

And I have a hard time listening to her stories or watching her shows or reading her books or…

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but…

I think I am.

Shit.

Rape Culture exists. As much as I have been avoiding saying it for years. It exists.

I’m not guilty of beating my wife. I’m not guilty of rape. I’m not guilty of shooting a sorority.

I am guilty of thinking in a manner that promotes one sex over the other… even during my “enlightened” years.

I will never understand the mind of a woman. I don’t know what it’s like to walk down the streets of Cambridge alone at night as a woman. I will never know what it’s like to have a drunk 230 pound man angry at me cause he’s not getting laid.

I’m sorry.

Vanessa, I’m sorry.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist…. but….

I’m trying to change.

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255 thoughts on “I Don’t Consider Myself a Misogynist

  1. Hmm, that was an interesting post. I actually think it’s a shame that men are supposed to feel bad about simply being men. Not only are men allegedly to blame for everything women encounter in the world, they’re supposed to feel bad about being misogynists as well.

    • That’s a very simplistic comment that misrepresents the issue. First of all, this is not women against men. Secondly, this is not feminists against men. This is feminists against the male stereotype. Because this societal conditioning is what causes these problems for men and women alike. Your comment totally missed the point and is ripe with assumptions that were not confirmed in the original post.

      • I don’t believe I am ripe with assumptions at all. I meant what I said, it’s a shame that men are now supposed to feel bad about being men. Feminists against the male stereotype, uh? Well some of us happen to appreciate men just the way they are and actually resent the attempts to convert them into something that fems consider more appealing.

      • Well, you may believe in the Easter Bunny but that doesn’t make him real.

        Someone who likes men the way they ARE, would support getting rid of this destructive stereotype. Further, it’s not about making men more appealing to feminists, it’s about allowing them to be full human beings with valid emotions and healthy relationships. There is wide consensus among psychologists and sociologists that male and female stereotypes and conditioning are psychologically unhealthy and pose many societal problems.

    • You came up with that assumption all on your own. Why would you do that? You’ve been informed you were wrong and you still persisted. Why is it so important to you to feel abused?

    • Interesting that you’re taking a FACT (That all women have been harassed/oppressed/abused by SOME men) and turning it around to make it about YOUR HURT FEELINGS.

      No one has accused ALL MEN of being misogynists. SOME men are. Instead of trying to minimize the problem (That ALL WOMEN have had these experiences) you’re making them about your wounded ego. Don’t you think that the problems that women have today are a little more important than your totally incorrect assumptions?

      No one HATES men. No one thinks ALL MEN are the problem. However, SOME MEN ARE. If you aren’t like that, then show us and be better than that, rather than trying to make the problems that half the population of the planet face, about your ego.

      • My feelings are not hurt. Also, I am not man. I know all about the problems women face today. Hating on men and demanding that they apologize for the existence of ALL MEN is not going to help women one bit.

      • No. One. Is. Doing. That.

        ONE MAN wrote about himself. One man does not equal ALL MEN. Stop accusing this article of being male-bashing. There’s nothing to back up your claims, you’re -mistaken-. Going on and on about how man-hating this article is doesn’t make it true. Facts are facts whether you believe them or not, that’s the great thing about facts! I can refuse to believe the air around me exists, but it does regardless of my OPINION. Same thing with YOU. You can accuse and point fingers at this article all day long, it doesn’t make you right.

      • “No. One. Is. Doing. That. ”

        Yes they are. It’s all the rage these days to hate men, to demand they change, to constantly confront them about their alleged misogyny. In my comment I said it was a shame that men feel as if they have to apologize for existing. I meant that and it’s the truth.

    • I understand what you are saying and how you feel. You believe this movement is about telling men they should be more like women.
      It’s not about that at all. We are basically trying to convince people to re-convince themselves that women are not MADE to be house wives, home workers, house hold servants. We can CHOOSE to be so but we should never be expected to be so. We were MADE to create offspring but we can CHOOSE not to do so. We want to be respected for the people we ARE and not the type of person you EXPECT us to be.
      What I’m trying to get as is that during a young mans growth, he is told about girls and how he should feel about them. If his mother tells him about girls (or a good father) then he would be told to respect and appreciate girls and women. He would hopefully be informed that women are genuine people that can make you very happy if you treat them kindly and with respect.
      Unfortunately there are those in this world that are misinformed about women. Some young men grown up being taught that they are only true men if they’ve had sex with multiple women. They are also taught that if a woman does not want to have sex with them, then the man should feel shame in himself which then turns into anger. These unfortunate men are also taught, at times that women can’t fend for themselves or “take care of business” because they are weak and unable. That’s where “rape Culture” comes in.
      It’s not just the parents fault, though as media has pressured men into thinking women are scared princesses that need to be rescued. And if you rescue the princess, she’ll give you a kiss and even marry you. Media and propaganda create this idea that women are objects that must be used in advertisements in order to sale a product because there’s no possible way the product could sale itself unless a half naked chic was next to it. We see advertisements where men spray themselves with body mist and because of this simple task, very attractive women will now have sex with them, Or if a man does his hair with this special hair gel just right, women will want to have sex with them.
      In my community, the BDSM type there are those “masters” out there that believe if they play a fetish scene with a woman then that means the woman has either got to perform sexual acts with this “master” or submit to him more. This is dangerous because in BDSM< there's "Sub Drop" and it's basically the same as being drunk or high and can GREATLY decrease a woman's inhibitions. Submissives usually go forth thinking a Master would know about Sub Drop and will respect it. Unfortunately, again there are those "masters" that will not and will take "advantage" of Sub Drop to get at what he wants.

      Wow, long story short. We aren't telling men to stop being men. We are telling men to stop treating women like they aren't human and equal to men. We are telling men to stop raping women and claiming that she "wanted it" because of "reasons". We are trying to tell you that you can't possibly blame your victim for your actions but they're YOU'RE actions. Men will rape a woman at a bar and say something like "well she wasn't complaining last night when I was banging her as she vomited on the toilet seat". We are trying to tell men WE, as women do not OWE sex to men. We don't have to ever have sex with you and you should never force us t just as women should force a man. We are telling men to stop propagating this idea that we are the servants of the world and start treating us as equals. We are not "objects to be won" and we are not "ass that you're about to tap" and we definitely should not be told "you're a stuck up bitch cause you never had sex with so and so".. We are women. Treat us like you would someone you loved and cared for.
      We just want men to stop using their sexual needs as weapons and shields to protect them fro prosecution of rape.

      • So how did the two genders ever manage to survive for so long without modern culture “teaching” men to respect women? And, what is it about men that makes them allegedly so moronic, they must now be “taught” that women are people too? Do women ever need to be taught that men are people too, worthy of our respect, or are we just magically born with this superior wisdom?

        The implication here is that men are naturally inferior beasts, innately driven by their sexuality and so must be socially conditioned not to abuse their alleged privilege. The problem is, if they truly are innately carnivorous wildebeests, then all our attempts at social engineering are pointless. You can’t teach a wildebeest not to be a wildebeest.

        Rape is not an act conducted by an idiot who just doesn’t know better.

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  3. In addition to being an incredibly insightful piece, this is some outstanding writing! Thank you for just putting the thoughts out there. Change the thinking, change the world.

  4. Its very rare to find such honesty especially in regards to matters so sensitive……. thanks for giving words to what goes on in the minds of so many

  5. Look up ‘misogynist’ in the dictionary. You obviously love your wife very much. You may be a second-rate husband but you’re no misogynist. Stop beating yourself up.

    • Misogyny doesn’t just incorporate the concept of hating women, but society’s entrenched prejudices against them. Just because you love a woman doesn’t mean you are not a misogynist. There is interesting debate about men who base their decision not to engage in misogyny because ‘it could be your sister, or your daughter, or your mother’. Whilst refraining from misogyny is never a bad thing, doing so only because of the women who you see as worthy of ‘protection’, in outdated notions of gender roles, means that you don’t see women as equals or worthy of respect in their own right. Rather you see them as worthy of respect because of your, and other men’s ownership of them. This just perpetuates an attitude of women as second class citizens.

      That said, the author’s self awareness, and thought provoking post, does demonstrate that he is making a shift, and while he may show some misogynistic tendencies (by his own admission), I think to call him an outright misogynist is perhaps a misnomer.

  6. It sounds like the women in your life are/ were all flawed human beings …… you know, just like men are too.

    (Who’d have thought?!)

    Acknowledging that women have equal agency as men – and thus equal responsibility for their flaws and mistakes as partners or parents – is often characterised as ‘misogyny’. But it’s actually an example of gender equality and a sign that you respect women as full status adults, and don’t think of them as lesser beings or objects who deserve to be shielded from the truth and honesty.

    • I don’t see where it says anything that implies the women in his life are flawed human beings.

      Also, I don’t see how women taking responsibility is at all related to what he wrote. He doesn’t say anywhere that women are exempt from self-examination. He’s just talking about his own misogyny.

      It appears to me that you hear the word misogyny and you’re thinking to yourself “Traitor! How dare he say something negative about men! Must divert attention to women’s fault!”

      • “…I don’t see where it says anything that implies the women in his life are flawed human beings….”

        Really? How about this:

        “…My mother gave my brothers and I up when I was 10….”

        Which clearly led to understandable abandonment issues:

        “…I still treated (my step mother) like she would give up on us at any moment. Right up to the moment I left the house for good….”

        (You say) “..He doesn’t say anywhere that women are exempt from self-examination. .”

        No, but he implies that only HE needs to self examine, not the women in his life. He says HE struggles to be intimate, and SHE gets upset about this. Well, perhaps she is doing something which makes it hard for him to be intimate. Perhaps she wants intimacy on HER terms only when SHE feels like it. Perhaps SHE defines what intimacy in the marriage means (ie focusing on her intimate needs, rather than his).

        It takes two to tango…… and it takes two to be intimate with each other..

        “..He’s just talking about his own misogyny…”

        Right – like the fact that although HE is the breadwinner, he selfishly let’s HER do the housework like a lazy, good for nothing, woman hating husband.

        Hmmm…. I wonder if his wife thinks of herself as a misandrist because although SHE does the housework, she selfishly let’s HIM earn the family’s income like a lazy, good for nothing man hating wife? Somehow I don’t think so.

        Does she often clean up his mess in the home? Yes. Does she ever turn up at his place of work and do the filing for him or help him get through his inbox? No.

        “…It appears to me that you hear the word misogyny and you’re thinking to yourself “Traitor! How dare he say something negative about men! Must divert attention to women’s fault!”….”

        Nope. I’m just noticing double standards in society that’s all.

      • I’d encourage you to read some of the discourse regarding #notallmen and #yesallwomen to better grasp the situation. I appreciate that it’s difficult to understand the plight of a marginalised group that you’re not a part of. I also recognise that you’re likely to have a confirmation bias and doing so might have no effect on you.

        Your points aren’t entirely invalid; of course women should be equals with full culpability for their own actions. However a discussion of misogyny doesn’t need to explicitly reference women’s faults. It may be relevant, but it’s certainly not necessary. By acknowledging his faults the author is hardly saying others in his life are exempt from any responsibility, he is simply exhibiting acute self awareness and empathy. I think you could take note. Yep, there are some double standards in our society, but it doesn’t mean that individuals can’t or shouldn’t assess their own attitudes and make changes for the better.

      • Granted, I forgot about the mother giving him up bit. However, you were saying that ” the women in [his] life are/ were ALL flawed human beings” and that’s the only example. You can’t blame the stepmother for his own disliking. It’s pretty clear he didn’t give her a chance because he didn’t like her (probably because she wasn’t the real mother).

        “No, but he implies that only HE needs to self examine, not the women in his life.” He doesn’t do that at all. You’re reading things into this, he never said. Just because he acknowledges his own flaws doesn’t mean he is implying that everyone else is guilt free.

        “Well, perhaps she is doing something which makes it hard for him to be intimate.” Again, you’re reading something into it, he doesn’t say. He does mention that he’s ready for sex any time but that’s not the intimacy she needs. Maybe that’s why you think that. But the way he describes it, sex has little to do with intimacy. It’s a thing he demands after doing something for her that he picked out. He doesn’t even give her the chance to say “hey, babe, if I clean the car, will you let me penetrate your body?” Because frankly, if I was his wife, I would say no to that deal. Sex is so often trivialized in our society and the media that people forget it actually means LETTING ANOTHER PERSON INSIDE YOUR BODY. I don’t know about you but I’m not just willy-nilly letting people do that to me, so my car gets clean. The only reason anyone should ever have sex is because they want to. Period. If both partners want it, right on but if one feels like they are obligated to do it (and oftentimes that’s the woman) they should stop. They’ll only associate it with discomfort and learn to dislike it.

        ” like the fact that although HE is the breadwinner, he selfishly let’s HER do the housework like a lazy, good for nothing, woman hating husband.”
        You know there have been extensive sociological studies on this subject. While the average working day is usually between 8-10 hours, the average housework day is usually 14 hours and up. In at least two thirds of relationships, women do the housework on their own. In traditional relationships, the person with the higher earning power (the man) has more leverage in negotiating who does housework. So the wider the wage gap between husband and wife, the more housework she does. It is also true that the more the wife earns, the less house work she has to do up to the point of equal pay. Then something peculiar happens. At the point of equal pay, the wife begins to lose negotiating power and the more she earns than her husband, the more housework she does. In those studies the explanation is that woman try to compensate for the perceived emasculation she does to him as she earns more. Wow… Furthermore, in traditional relationships, couples define the breadwinner as the person who earns the most money (so only the man). In relationships in which the woman earns more, the definition is redefined to include anyone who earns money. So if she makes 70k a year and he only makes 3k, he is still a bread winner. Also, women are expected to be flexible in their work schedule when the husband gets promoted, so someone takes care of the kids. Men generally do not do this if their wives get promoted. This is ONE of the many factors why women are less likely to advance in their careers.

        Also, I doubt we could speak about a misandrist if she does the housework. It’s more work (says science) and it is generally more mundane. Furthermore, there is no compensation for it, you don’t get any appreciation (like a bonus) or promotions.

        “Nope. I’m just noticing double standards in society that’s all.”

        Obviously, you don’t notice the double standards you are making.

      • (Replying to this one as your other comment has no reply button)

        “…Granted, I forgot about the mother giving him up bit…..”

        Wow.

        “… However, you were saying that ” the women in [his] life are/ were ALL flawed human beings” and that’s the only example….”

        This blog was about two things (1) the women in his life (2) the idea of misogyny. The women in his life were all flawed, as flawed as men are. This needs to be acknowledged and the implications understood before any claims about ‘misogyny’ can be made (by the author himself, or anybody else).

        “..You can’t blame the stepmother for his own disliking…”

        I never did. I’m just seeing no evidence of misogyny, that’s all.

        “..Just because he acknowledges his own flaws doesn’t mean he is implying that everyone else is guilt free….”

        Implying he is misogynistic (to whatever degree) implies he is ‘guilty’, while also letting the women in his life off the hook as far as guilt (or perhaps we should say ‘responsibility’) is concerned.

        “… He does mention that he’s ready for sex any time but that’s not the intimacy she needs…”

        Right. He frames the problem in terms of what SHE needs/ desires. I was suggesting HE might need / desire intimacy as well. Perhaps he needed/ desired emotional intimacy as a child but was denied it. Perhaps his childhood of being abandoned resulted in him adopting survival mechanisms, such as blocking off his emotions, becoming locked in ‘fight or flight mode’ and so on.

        In other words perhaps his issues with emotional intimacy are a result of damage done to him as a child (by his mother for a start). This is most likely the case (joining the military is another clue). This is all building up a picture which has absolutely NOTHING to do with ‘misogyny’.

        I’m guessing his wife knows about his childhood history but it doesn’t sound like she cares enough about HIM to actually help him address his emotional issues – which would be win-win for the both of them. Instead she simply gets ‘huffy’ and shames him for not pleasing HER on demand.

        The result is that he ends up thinking he must be misogynistic. In other words the women in his life have managed to make HIM feel guilty for (1) his mother abandoning him, and (2) his wife being selfish and intolerant and getting annoyed at the damage that abandonment did to him emotionally.

        “….Sex is so often trivialized in our society and the media that people forget it actually means LETTING ANOTHER PERSON INSIDE YOUR BODY. I don’t know about you but I’m not just willy-nilly letting people do that to me, so my car gets clean. …”

        Oh per-lease. Get off your moral high horse. The world is full of women who are willing to be ‘penetrated’ in return for free dinner dates and theatre tickets, free clothes, status, a house and all the bills paid, being put through college, free holidays, a part in a movie or a promotion. If that’s not your bag then fine, but don’t pretend men are forcing women to have sex for these kinds of reasons – that’s totally disempowering and demeaning to the women who DO choose to exercise that power over men. You are stripping women of their agency and depicting them as victims/ objects.

        The fact is all man / woman relationships are a negotiation based on each others desires, needs as well as what they have to offer the other person in return – and that includes sex. Usually the people who insist sex is ‘spiritual’ and ‘sacred’ experience which must *never* be discussed frankly or negotiated openly within a relationship are the ones who are guilty of using sex as a tool of manipulation.

        Wanting to please a partner in the daytime so they might be more inclined to get frisky with you come bedtime is a perfectly natural and healthy thing to do. What he did is called ‘being sweet’.

        it is the polar opposite of what so many women do, which is to wear sexually provocative clothing and behave in a sexually provocative manner to sexually frustrate a men (or men), and then when their balls are about to explode to make a list of demands.

        IOW the only difference between how men and women negotiate sex is that men tend to be more honest and up front, whereas women tend to be more dishonest and scheming.

        I bet THISis you 😉

        “…While the average working day is usually between 8-10 hours, the average housework day is usually 14 hours and up….”

        Yes but only because of daytime TV, ebay, youtube, yoga, emailing and spending 20 minutes reading every magazine and newspaper that you pick up off he floor!

        But seriously, I want to be absolutely clear what you are claiming here. Are you claiming that in the 21st century with all the mod cons available that housework is more demanding than the kind of 9-5 job which is required to support a family financially (or even support one person financially)?

        Is THAT what you are saying? I just want to be clear.

        “….So the wider the wage gap between husband and wife, the more housework she does. It is also true that the more the wife earns, the less house work she has to do up to the point of equal pay. Then something peculiar happens. At the point of equal pay, the wife begins to lose negotiating power and the more she earns than her husband, the more housework she does. In those studies the explanation is that woman try to compensate for the perceived emasculation she does to him as she earns more….”

        I think the explanation is a lot more simple than that. (Are you ready? Here it comes…….. (drumroll) ….. In general, women VALUE and DESIRE a cleaner and tidier house more than men do.

        So when a couple earns the same wage the natural desires of each person is able to be expressed free from any sense of emotional obligation or entitlement. Both are now free to express their standards when it comes to tidiness in the home.

        As women generally desire cleaner or tidier homes than men they will make their homes the way they want them to be. Often men and women will claim a corner of the home as ‘theirs’ and when that happens, guess what? The men will NOT insist the women clean it. In fact most men will strongly object to their wives tidying up their office or ‘man cave’ saying that having everything strewn about is how they like it.

        So what your study actually proves is that women and men are different, and have different needs and wants. Who’d have thought – eh?!

        I have to add that it’s not that unusual for the man to be more finicky and obsessive than the woman and for HIM to do the bulk of the housework, even voluntarily (and obsessively) just like so many women do.

        But unlike their female counterparts, men who like immaculate houses rarely depict their desire for perfection in terms of ‘female oppression’. And if they did we’d all call them out for it.

        “…Furthermore, in traditional relationships, couples define the breadwinner as the person who earns the most money (so only the man). In relationships in which the woman earns more, the definition is redefined to include anyone who earns money. So if she makes 70k a year and he only makes 3k, he is still a bread winner. ….”

        What …. are you talking about?

        “…Also, women are expected to be flexible in their work schedule when the husband gets promoted, so someone takes care of the kids….”

        I see. So you don’t think women CHOOSE to be flexible SO THAT their husbands can be promoted? (The end result being MORE MONEY for the family).

        You know women control about 80% of household income right? Men earn more, but women control more.

        You seem to be very keen to depict women as having no agency or power or desire to negotiate with the men they live with. You seem to want to depict women as essentially stupid, naive, downtrodden, inept, child-like, objects being manipulated by society and by men.

        Are you sure you are not just trying to create some kind of ‘poor me’ victim narrative so you can then use it to shame men and then start making demands? 😉

        “…Also, I doubt we could speak about a misandrist if she does the housework…”

        Does she ‘do’ the housework or does she ‘choose’ to do the housework? Does a man ‘do’ a job or does he ‘choose’ to do a job?

        You seem to be depicting men as having agency, but not women. Are you saying women who marry men and become financially supported housewives are tricked into it? Are you saying they are being oppressed?

        What if a husband said “Housework is oppression and I can’t bare to see you do it!…. you deserve to work outside the home. So I’m giving up my job on Friday so that I can do the housework and you can do less tiring and less demeaning work outside the home”

        Do you think the housewife would jump for joy? ….. or might she say (or think) “But I WANT you to be the breadwinner because I LIKE you financially supporting me. I would hate to have to sell up and move to a smaller house and not go on holidays because I am not able to earn as much…. and I’d miss watching all that daytime TV…..”

        “…Furthermore, there is no compensation for (housework), you don’t get any appreciation (like a bonus) or promotions…..”

        Housework is WORK. The value of the work can be determined by how much you would have to pay someone else to do it for you.

        Housework has plenty of bonuses.. you can do it in your own house (saves a fortune on commuting). You can do it in a T-shirt and pants (or in the nude). Saves a fortune on work clothes and dry cleaning. You don’t have to spend $10 just to drink a coffee and eat a muffin. You can multitask. No boss. And 100% of your productivity goes directly to YOU and YOUR FAMILY.

        When you work outside the home 40-60% of your productivity is stolen from you at gunpoint by the mafia who call themselves ‘government’.

        That means you are being forced to work 2-3 days a week directly for the government/ military industrial complex ……… making government bigger and making all their weapons and stuff.

        Feminism teaches you that:

        Cleaning your own home = oppression
        Working 2-3 days a week for your slave masters = empowerment

        That is why feminism was and still is so heavily funded and promoted by the government. Feminism = more power and money to them.

        Through feminism they’ve convince the modern woman that abandoning her children (to state controlled indoctrination pens called ‘daycare’ and ‘state school’), so they can work outside the home all week before handing over half their wages to government = liberation!

        Well done feminists…….. Brave New World here we come!

      • As a guy, I would say you have some probably valid points; while sexism is a big issue, big problem, the conversations tend to be one-sided, so it’s good to be open to contrarian points of view.

        Unfortunately, you come off as such a raving a****hole, that I don’t think your valid points will get across to anyone who doesn’t already agree.

      • “…Unfortunately, you come off as such a raving a****hole..”

        In what way? (serious question, genuinely interested)

        I was trying to (a) be fair and ultra-rational (b) look deeper than the surface (c) not succumb to the feminist idea that women are so inferior and wretched compared to men that their behaviour can’t be criticised in the same way we constantly criticise men’s behaviour.

        Would I come across as an asshole if the genders were reversed? ….What if I was trying to tell a woman that she might not really be a bad person who hates men after all …. and that it sounded like her father had damaged her emotionally while her husband was not showing her enough empathy ….

        Would THAT come across as being an asshole?

        Or would that come across as being caring and sympathetic?

        The problem is that if you ever try to (a) show a man sympathy and (b) point out some flaws in women you end up having to defend yourself from an army of feminazis.

        Feminazis are so vitriolic and irrational that I usually end up becoming ultra rational and methodical because you just know that any casual ‘off the cuff’ remark will get taken out of context, twisted and used as further proof of patriarchy/ misogyny/ oppression etc etc. (Feminazis are like the crowd in the stoning scene of Life of Brian).

        Two of the biggest taboos in modern society are showing empathy to men and criticising women’s behaviour.

        Being the asshole that I am, I am guilty of both!

      • Thanks for the serious question.

        I think there should be some alternative “male perspective” on the original post, which has a bit of a sniveling tone. But your post, the one I responded to, degenerated into a rant. The bit about “the mafia who call themselves ‘government” would put any non-Right-wing reader who got that far over the edge. What has that to do with the topic? It seemed like you forgot which axe you were grinding.

        Your points about the “car wash for sex” section of the text were fine– at least in a healthy relationship, that could be called “being sweet,” and if the attraction and sense of playfulness were present, it could be a way to combine chores with foreplay. Why not? I think there’s a possible confusion in the orginal text between legitimately sexist attitudes and just a bad relationship, not all of it necessarily just the husband’s fault. Yeah women can be assholes too, and treat men badly, it’s been known to happen. But if the author looks inside himself and sees sexist attitudes, there’s no reason to think he’s entirely wrong. Still, your questioning of the “transactional sex” as cut-and-dried misogyny was perfectly reasonable.

        But then bit about women who gladly sleep with guys for money or other perks lost me. I’m not saying that kind of thing doesn’t happen, but to trot out the gold-digger stereotype as though that has any relevance in a discussion of what is healthy in the relations between the genders, or is a sterling example of female “agency” seems to betray an attitude that I don’t mind calling misogynist, I’m sorry to say.

        I don’t have a lot of love for the way “mangakainspe” is arguing, either, but then in your follow up you actually pull out “feminazi.” I mean, feminists & feminism are not above criticism by any means, but you use an epithet like that and you can’t pretend to be engaging in reasonable dialogue anymore!

        Anyway, this is why I usually steer well clear of comments’ sections; brings out the worst in all of us. I’m sure we’d have a better conversation face-to-face…

      • “….The bit about “the mafia who call themselves ‘government” would put any non-Right-wing reader who got that far over the edge. What has that to do with the topic? It seemed like you forgot which axe you were grinding….”

        Feminism and government are intimately linked. A ‘government’ is (by definition) an agency of legalised violence and theft. They are the last group on the planet to claim the RIGHT to initiate force and to steal property to achieve their aims. That is just a fact, not a moral judgement.

        If you consider the initiation of force (coercion, murder, assault, torture, kidnapping, theft etc) to be immoral then you must logically consider government to be immoral. Government is just a bunch of PEOPLE who consider it their right to initiate force and steal to get things done. Governments do not exist anymore than mafias exist – they are all just people, and all people are bound by the same basic moral rules when it comes to coercion, theft, violence, assault, murder etc etc…. unless of course you believe some people should be made exempt from such basic morality?

        Feminism is the perfect vehicle for ‘government’ to justify increasing its power and interference in everybody’s lives, increasing taxes and generally usurping the role of ordinary men in society. That is why they have funded (and effectively hijacked) feminism for the last 50 years at least and why they use feminism to demonise men and exult women in the corporate media, state education system and in politics.

        A society with strong, self respecting men who are valued by women (in the way men still value women) would be a society which regards government as an unwelcome intrusion, and as no more than a violent mafia stealing half of everyone’s wages and spending it blowing the arms and legs off children (etc etc). A very bad thing indeed!

        But by encouraging women to hate men, and encouraging men to hate themselves, the ruling class is able to get women to give up CO-dependent relationships with loving men and instead form TOTALLY-dependent relationships with the state which is the ultimate ‘alpha male’. Meanwhile boys/ men are left to flounder on the sidelines….

        Feminism IS ‘patriarchy’ ….. it is patriarchy on steroids, with added guns, tasers, jackboots and bombs…. but minus any love or respect or balance. The men feminists now form allegiances with are men who have no problem ordering drone strikes on families. Compared to those men your average husband who leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and scratches his balls is a saint! …. and yet they are the men now being depicted as the evil oppressors of society.

        “…I’m not saying that kind of thing doesn’t happen, but to trot out the gold-digger stereotype as though that has any relevance in a discussion of what is healthy in the relations between the genders, or is a sterling example of female “agency” seems to betray an attitude that I don’t mind calling misogynist, I’m sorry to say…”

        Well, I would say the exact opposite 🙂

        It’s only when you respect women as FULL ADULT HUMAN BEINGS with their own minds, their own agency their own motivations that you can give them the respect of being honest.

        What’s demeaning (‘misogynistic’, if you will) is always treating women like little innocent precious child-like bundles of loveliness who cannot possibly be acting (a) intelligently and (b) for their own self interest….. you know …. just like men sometimes do!

        This feminist view of women as these precious fragile leaves blowing in the patriarchal wind is a MALE POWER FANTASY. Feminism itself is a male power fantasy. The truth is women are just as capable of being selfish, scheming, manipulative, immoral, deceitful, or just out for their own selfish interests in a completely normal and healthy way. To treat women as less capable of acting in these (not always flattering) ways than men is to define women as being less capable than men full stop … which is demeaning and insulting.

        Women steal, rape, abuse, assault, lie, cheat and manipulate. To admit this is to grant women full and equal status as adult human beings with fully functioning brains and agency. It is respectful!

        To call this basic observation ‘disrespect’ or ‘misogyny’ is to assert that men are superior to women…. and that IS disrespectful and misogynistic.

        You assumed that just because I was being HONEST and observing that millions of women exploit their sexual attractiveness (and sex itself) to get ‘free stuff’ and ‘special treatment’ from men that I was insulting women. I’m sorry but it’s just the truth, and it’s hard wired into us as a species. It’s common behaviour among many animals.

        For hundreds of thousands of years the deal has been this: Women seek resources and protection, and women can’t provide those things for themselves when pregnant or nursing, so they have to rely on men to provide those things for them. Men seek young, fertile women to mate with and women choose the man who demonstrates the best ability and willingness to provide resources and protection for her (and to any future offspring). Knowing this is what women desire, men compete with each other to demonstrate to women why they are the best providers of resources and protection to women in order to get picked by the woman they so keenly want to mate with 🙂

        I am not saying there is anything ‘wrong’ with this state of affairs. It is how nature ensures pregnant women/ infants and children get the resources they need to survive. It is how we survived as a species in primitive and harsh times when resources were scarce…. by placing the needs and wants of women (and thus babies and children) at the centre of society. That is what the so called ‘patriarchy’ is in reality. “Women and children first”.

        The more sexually desirable a woman is the more she is able to bargain for resources and protection from a man. How many POOR men who have little social status or prospects but ‘a heart of gold’ do you see married to (or surrounded by) super-attractive women? LOL

        Men value young fertile women, which is why a successful rich man is often perfectly happy to fully support and provide resources for a young, fit, fertile wife with no career and no income of her own. He feels lucky to have such an attractive wife, and doesn’t mind paying for her to live with him and have sex with him. And this is what motivates men to climb the career ladder and earn so much money – they know than in general women are attracted to men with status and money. So if you want an attractive wife you need to have social status and money, otherwise you can forget it!

        The cliche of the construction workers wolf-whistling an attractive woman on her way to the office is always depicted as men disrespecting women. But the reality is those men know the woman walking by in her short skirt and immaculate hair to her trendy office already considers them to be ‘beneath her’. She would never date them of give them the time of day – no matter how nice they are – because they do not have status or wealth she knows she can get due to being attractive.

        So their wolf-whistling is an admission that they know she considers them ‘out of her league’. They don’t stand a chance of getting her approval, or even her attention. At least by wolf whistling they can get her attention for a moment. It’s the only interaction with her they can achieve without a suit, tie, nice car, respectable career etc.

        They might objectify her as a ‘hottie’, but equally she treats THEM as mere ‘objects of utility’ too …. in her eyes their role is just to make the infrastructure that benefits her, but they are not people worth getting to know. Men and women objectify each other all the time. It’s not just men objectifying women.

        This is why men’s calendars show women naked, or in their underwear. Men value women as women. But women’s calendars usually show men wearing just enough clothes to signal that he has status and wealth, or can offer protection (the sexy high status executive with a rolex watch, or the sexy fireman or sexy soldier). Women value men who can provide her with resources and protection.

        When men are trained to deny this basic reality it leads to confusion and ultimately a sense of shame on the part of men…. as this blog post shows. The value of women to men is constantly emphasised in the media in the most ridiculous ways (as literal goddesses just for being vaguely attractive)….. but not so much the practical value of men to women. That is never emphasised, ever. Men’s valuable role as provider, protector, peace keeper, law enforcer, and manual labourer is never mentioned, let alone celebrated.

        Men’s value to society and to women must be kept secret – otherwise men might develop a sense of worth in their relationships with women!

        This confusion and shame men feel – individually and collectively – is yet another way for women to extract more resources and protection from men. By depicting just about everything men do as ‘misogyny’ or ‘oppression’ or ‘male privilege’ women keep men in a permanent state of indebtedness to women. And that indebtedness is paid back by – you’ve guessed it – providing more resources and protection to women 🙂

        Remember that for most of human history we’ve been perpetually on the brink of starvation (half the world still is). A relationship was a ‘success’ if you managed to produce some children and most of them survived to adulthood. Now that we have massive wealth, opportunities and privilege in the west (relative to the rest of history) there is nothing to keep women’s natural desire and strategies to secure those resources in check. And there is nothing to keep men’s natural urge and strategies to gain status and resources to impress women in check too.

        The result is a bunch of women who are arguably the most privileged human beings that have ever lived, (who have never so much as skinned a rabbit, chopped firewood or darned a sock) complaining about how oppressed and downtrodden they are…… and a bunch of men driven to ridiculous (and often completely immoral) lengths to earn the money necessary to create the kind of ‘Ken and Barbie’ lifestyle they believe it is their duty to provide.

        What’s completely lacking is any self-knowledge, balance and a sense of perspective… and a sense of *appreciation* for how ridiculously privileged we all are in the west.

        “…I don’t have a lot of love for the way “mangakainspe” is arguing, either, but then in your follow up you actually pull out “feminazi.”…”

        Feminazi is not a flippant term of insult. Feminism is LITERALLY comparable to nazism. I do not make the comparison lightly.

        Both feminism AND nazism are/ were founded upon a ‘threat narrative’.

        A ‘threat narrative’ depicts the target group (jews or men) as a threat in order to reduce – and eventually eliminate – society’s capacity to empathise with that group, or even see them as humans.

        A threat narrative frames the target group as the invulnerable oppressors and the oppressors as the vulnerable victims.

        Once a threat narrative has brainwashed the public some sort of mass scale persecution and/or genocidal bloodbath usually follows.

        Therefore threat narratives are not to be taken lightly. All oppression is based on, and made possible by, a threat narrative.

        The feminist threat narrative is basically the same threat narrative which was used to demonise and dehumanise blacks and jews…… it has been recycled and is now being used to demonise and dehumanise men.

        1. Jews/ blacks/ men are a threat to civilised society
        2. Jews/ blacks/ men are savages, rapists, schemers controlling society for their benefit
        3. Jews/ blacks/ men are invulnerable and cannot be victims themselves, only we can be victims
        4. When jews/ blacks/ men commit a crime or say something offensive or hateful it represents ALL jews/ blacks/ men
        5. When jews /blacks / men do something noble, kind or virtuous it does not reflect on them as a group
        6. When we say hateful things about jews/ blacks/ men it is OK, because they are the evil threat and we are innocent victims of their oppression

        … and so on.

        Whenever you hear a feminist talk about the group ‘men’ just insert the group ‘blacks’ or ‘jews’ and you’ll be shocked at how hateful and dangerous they really are.

        Feminism and threat narratives explained

        And if you travelled back in time to the 1930’s and told a German that Nazism was a dangerous hate group, they would also look at you with a blank stare and say you were being hysterical and ridiculous. Just like you are saying to me.

      • Lmao I figure people like you think they’re being super-rational but to is normal folk you just seem batshit crazy what with all the “hurr durr feminazis,” and “dem scientifikers don’t know that all dem lazy women folk is just sittin in front of dem tv bein lazy bitches!”

        It’s also funny when someone like you is trying to make wild psychoanalyzations about abandonment issues. Of course the guy who wrote this has no idea why he is acting the way he is. All we evil feminazis do is emotionally abandon the poor men and then brain wash them into thinking they are privileged in any way. All the while we sit at home in front of the tv and make our little monkeys dance!

        Is that so? Nope. You know the nice thing about science is, is that your opinion does not matter. We have objective evidence.

        And you know the whole agency thing where women who do the housework have all the power and the feminazis just want to be victims? Yeah, again, science thinks your crazy. We actual psychologists have a name for that condition when a woman has no agency. It’s called desperate dependence. And well guess what? It’s negatively correlated with age, education, feminism, and career. And who do you think has high desperate dependence/little agency? Exactly, stereotypically traditional women like housewives, for example. And yes, that’s oppression because we force-feed little girls fairy tales like Cinderella and Snow White in which girls are not able to do anything but sit and wait for a man to save them. We tell girls they’re bad at math and generally incompetent. Again, this is not my opinion, we know this from extensive sociological studies. If she thinks she’s incompetent, do you think she’s gonna look for a high paying job? Umm… No, she gets with a guy who has a high paying job, because she doesn’t know she can survive on her own. If she’s especially unlucky she ends up in an abusive relationship. Guess what the correlation is there. You guessed it. High desperate dependence, so she’s not going to the police and she’s not gonna leave him. So what do evil feminazis do? We fight for her rights and better Disney movies.

      • ‘….. to normal folk you just seem batshit crazy what with all the “hurr durr feminazis,” ….”

        Some are some quotes by prominent feminists for you to chew on. None of these feminists were condemned, or ejected from the feminist movement for having these views. As with all hate movements there is the outer layer of vague good intentions (“we just want to empower women”… “we just want to empower Germany”… “we just want to protect white people”) which is used to recruit from the masses. This outer layer vague good intentions masks the hatred and derangement of the inner core of the movement.

        “I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.” — Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor.

        “To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.” — Valerie Solanas, Authoress of the SCUM Manifesto

        “The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness…can be trained to do most things.” — Jilly Cooper, SCUM

        “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” — Andrea Dworkin

        “Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.” – Catherine Comins

        “All men are rapists and that’s all they are” — Marilyn French, Authoress

        “Men use the night to erase us.” — Andrea Dworkin

        “The annihilation of a woman’s personality, individuality, will, character, is prerequisite to male sexuality.” — Andrea Dworkin

        “The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

        ”Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

        “Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear” — Susan Brownmiller; Authoress of Against Our Will p.6

        “When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.” — Sheila Jeffrys

        “All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.” — Catherine MacKinnon

        “You grow up with your father holding you down and covering your mouth so another man can make a horrible searing pain between your legs.” — Catherine MacKinnon (Prominent legal feminist scholar; University of Michigan, & Yale.)

        “The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men.” — Sharon Stone; Actress

        “The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.” — Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future – If There Is One – Is Female.

        If you swap out ‘men’ for ‘jews’ these feminists sound just like nazis, hence the term ‘feminazis’. Do you get it now?

        “….It’s also funny when someone like you is trying to make wild psychoanalyzations about abandonment issues. Of course the guy who wrote this has no idea why he is acting the way he is….”

        Well I just offered my 2 cents. I don’t know why you think that’s funny.

        “….All we evil feminazis do is emotionally abandon the poor men and then brain wash them into thinking they are privileged in any way….”

        Pretty much. Feminists regularly celebrate rich career women who CHOOSE to abandon their babies within weeks of giving birth so they can return to work in their trendy office. They call this ’empowerment’. Feminist women’s mags and blogs are full of features about WOMEN’S needs, wants, desires, entitlements, ambitions and rights ….. but the needs, wants, desires, entitlements, ambitions and rights of BABIES and CHILDREN are never mentioned.

        Abandoning you career to have and nurture a child will adversely affect your career. We all know this.

        Equally, abandoning your child to have and nurture a career will adversely affect your child. Today’s post feminist children are raised by minimum wage workers in daycare and Disney. This affects them so badly that they are all getting serious mental health issues. The ‘modern’ solution? Forcibly drug them!

        “…And who do you think has high desperate dependence/little agency? Exactly, stereotypically traditional women like housewives, for example….”

        Being a housewife or working outside the home are BOTH restrictive and ‘oppressive’ in their own ways.

        For most of history until very recently working INSIDE the home was a lot less dangerous, exhausting, traumatic, unhealthy, smelly, dirty, gruelling, physically strenuous than working OUTSIDE the home. That is why women CHOSE to work INSIDE the home and let men do most of the jobs OUTSIDE the home.

        As a feminist you only focus on the restrictions placed on women, and ignoring the restrictions placed on men. The restrictions placed on men and women are a fact of life, not an example of male oppression.

        When cultures are poor and lacking in technology men, women and even children do manual labour. As those cultures gain wealth and technology and productivity and living standards start to rise the women and children get to stay in the home leaving just the men to do the manual labour. Eventually (after many more centuries) technology starts to give the men a break from manual labour. And then finally it gives men AND women the opportunity to work in nice comfortable offices doing service industry type jobs where no manual labour is required at all. The men are always the LAST group to benefit from advances in technology and increased wealth.

        To complain about being an ‘oppressed housewife’ just makes you sound like a spoiled brat. Western middle class housewives are the most privileged people on the planet. Get over yourself!

        “….. And yes, that’s oppression because we force-feed little girls fairy tales like Cinderella and Snow White in which girls are not able to do anything but sit and wait for a man to save them…..”

        ‘We’? You mean mothers predominantly.

        Households with fathers tend to produce girls who are more well rounded. It’s girls who are brought up by single (feminist) mothers who tend to become hyper-sexual, with self identities defined by their femininity and their sexual attractiveness. Being a feminist is the ULTIMATE expression of the Disney princess.

        According to feminism having men run around doing stuff for you as a princess is oppression.

        Of course being a prince is not oppression, only being a princess is oppression. Being a prince is an example of male privilege, right?

        You are quite bonkers.

        “… We tell girls they’re bad at math and generally incompetent. Again, this is not my opinion, we know this from extensive sociological studies. If she thinks she’s incompetent, do you think she’s gonna look for a high paying job?….”

        Many mothers raise their little girls to be princesses who feel entitled to free stuff and special treatment from men and from society, yes. How is this male oppression?

        “… Umm… No, she gets with a guy who has a high paying job, because she doesn’t know she can survive on her own…….”

        You mean she chooses to objectify herself and hang around successful guys in the hope of negotiating a relationship with one of them where she gets financial support in return for sex (to put it bluntly). How is this behaviour male oppression?

        If men could convince women to support them financially in return for sex do you not think millions of men would choose that lifestyle?!

        Look, if you want a career work hard to get a career. If you want a man to support you work hard on your appearance and your wardrobe. These represent CHOICES for women. Men do not have as much choice so perhaps you might like to stop complaining?

        “…. If she’s especially unlucky she ends up in an abusive relationship. Guess what the correlation is there. You guessed it. High desperate dependence, so she’s not going to the police and she’s not gonna leave him. ….”

        Ending up in an abusive relationship is usually more about bad judgement than luck. But the same applies to men too. Plenty of men end up in bad relationships with abusive women. So it’s not a case of male oppression, because women are statistically just as likely to be abusive as men.

        Men in abusive relationships often cannot leave because the law is on the side of women. She can take him fro everything he has. And the kind of women who physically and verbally assault men are the kind of women who will think nothing of making false claims of abuse/ violence or even rape. If she does that the law and society is also on HER side. She could get him locked up and literally destroy his life. So that is why so many men often stay in bad relationships with abusive women.

        There is little public sympathy towards male victims of domestic abuse or violence. There are no men’s shelters. It’s not an issue which gets onto TV.

        “….So what do evil feminazis do? We fight for her rights and better Disney movies…..”

        No, you create a hateful and irrational threat narrative about the group ‘men’ depicting them as sociopathic oppressors of women…. while ignoring the fact that women are just as guilty / not guilty as men are of being abusers, rapists, oppressors, schemers, sociopaths, manipulators, liars and assholes.

      • “…You know there have been extensive sociological studies on this subject. While the average working day is usually between 8-10 hours, the average housework day is usually 14 hours and up….”

        “Hello, is that Spic ‘n’ Span Household Services?”
        “Yes, how can we help you?”
        “I’ve just got a full time job and so I’m going to need to employ someone else to do the housework”
        “Sure, we can provide someone for you”
        “Great! I’ll need someone to come in on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for at least 14 hours each day”
        “Are you sure about that? That is 70 hours a week!”
        “I know, but I’m a feminist, you see…”

        🙂

  7. Pingback: Don’t Read the Comments | Poorly Edited

  8. Honestly, I’m a teenaged girl trying to find my place in this world, and your post just gave me hope for my little sister and my future children. Maybe this world can change, after all…

  9. Thanks for sharing. It’s helpful to remember that it’s an ongoing process of honest self-examination for all of us who are trying to undo certain things our culture has taught us.

  10. Amazing. When I read the title, I was preparing for anger, but you surprised me. And that isn’t something that happens very often. It isn’t easy for anyone, man or woman, to be so introspective and take ownership of their faults. We all could do better; be better. The hardest part, I think, is what you’ve put down on this post.

  11. I think the feminist movement is necessary at the moment in order to make people aware and understand our difficulties. This does unfortunately minimize some problems that happen among men, and that does upset me. But i think that as time goes on and the issues women are fighting for become achieved, everything will level out, and we won’t think in terms of gender (or ethnicity or age or what have you), but will remember that everyone deserves love and compassion and understanding. And hopefully if we aren’t able to do that as individuals, our government will.

    • The fight for equality includes men. True feminism (I don’t know what would be considered ‘false’ feminism) aims to make all people equal. One of the facts that feminism embraces is that patriarchy also does a disservice to men by not allowing them to be fully human and to not allow them to see women as people. All the responses you see on here where someone is screaming about how men are marginalized are meaning to talk about this issue. Feminism embraces that. When we are all whole we can all see each other as whole.

  12. Pingback: I Don’t Consider Myself a Misogynist | SeaRainbow

  13. I love this. I live the opposite side of everything you write about. Seriously. The feeble attempts to do something for the woman in hopes of getting a little later, just to be brushed off for an unknown reason (which is probably something you did or said in between the “present” and the moment of bedtime, or a random thought of something you did/said yesterday, two weeks ago, or two years ago… who the hell knows?). It’s tough being a woman, too. We can’t control what thoughts pop into our brain. God, I wish we could just shut it off. It may seem odd to you, but men are just as strange, confusing and scary to women as we are to you. A little genuine openness is all it takes to start a change.

  14. Pingback: Nate Lopez discusses his personal take on misogyny. | zfem

  15. Hey man, thanks for the awesome post. I found it very insightful. Though, I’m not exactly against being a misogynist, especially when it’s a man doing it to a women, or vise-versa. Now man on man misogyny, I’m not really cool with, from personal experience.

    One time I went to a misoge parlor with some friends, and the old Asian lady came out and told us in her mama-san accent, “No funny bizness, this real misoge, no funny bizness.” And we’re all like “Yeah, no funny business, we want real misoges.” So we’re all standing there, and two girls and two guys come out. Um… awkward. So, we ro-sham-bo for who gets the dudes, and I was among the losers. It did feel good though, I mean c’mon, guys have stronger hands, but it was weird when he started on my lower back. I told him to just focus on my shoulders.
    And I never knew the art of giving a misoge was called misogyny, so I guess you learn something new everyday.

    Anyway, being a misogynist with your wife, that’s totally nice, because she can probably use a misoge after a tough day with the kids. Just remember though, if you’re going to practice misogyny with her, maybe you shouldn’t always expect a happy ending, you know, for her sake.

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